Review: The Mary Onettes – Islands
Oh Robert Smith, it’s good to have you back!
What do you mean The Cure haven’t released anything this year? Of course they have, their new single is called ‘Once I Was Pretty’ – I’m listening to it right now! Do you think you can fool me? ME? I got my postgraduate degree from the University of Perpendicular Hair with a specialisation in 1980s indie, I know the contours of every gloomy spikily-coiffed post-punker better than I know the path of the veins running down the back of my hand. That… that right there… is Monsieur Robert Smith.
I mean, just listen to these lines off ‘Cry For Love’, who else is morbid enough to go ‘it’s just a matter of time till they put me in the grave’? WHO ELSE?
Alright, there may be other people, but none of them sound like the Cure!
What? The Mary Onettes? Pssht. Rubbish. Poppycock. It’s The Cure, you illiterate plebeian. Don’t tell me to look at the CD sleeve, how do you know I haven’t already? … Er, no, I haven’t actually. Oh FINE – see? The C… Mary Onettes. Well, wasn’t all that time at Uni a bit of a waste then…
Look, are you sure this isn’t some sort of stylish alter-ego? A song called ‘The Disappearance of My Youth’ with a lyric that goes ‘you live your life like a shadow…’? Do you not understand, it actually HURTS to imagine this to be anyone other than the Cure? Also – they’re called the Mary Onettes, that would imply a female front person but despite the gloom and doom, this is definitely a bloke’s croon. Ergo, this is obviously a joke CD sleeve, oh ho ho ho, you thought you had me fooled. You think I am that naive do you? I repeat – oh ho ho ho!
Yes, that last.fm bio, that page on Wikipedia, the MySpace, the very authentic Swedish names, the photographs etc. are all very clever and I appreciate the amount of painstaking effort you have put into trying to pull the wool over my eyes.
WAIT! This last track – ‘Brick’. You’re right! I’m so sorry I doubted you – this isn’t the Cure. How silly of me. It’s The Church! My bad.
You´re an idiot, and no one thinks you´re cool but you.
good god you suck at insults. you should get lessons.
This is embarrassing!!! You shouldn't care about music at all!! I bet you're an unsuccessful musician…
wut? I don't understand how telling you that a band sounds exactly like the Cure (because it does to my ears) equates to being an unsuccessful musician, or even a musician in the first place. do you like post-punk? do you like Echo + the Bunnymen, the Psychedelic Furs, the Church, the Cure and their ilk? Because if you do, you will like the Mary Onettes because they sound EXACTLY LIKE THAT. Are you band representatives? it's not a bad review, band, it just says you're very derivative. now stop trolling.